Okay, I know what you’re thinking. I’m veering off my usual blogs of spiritual encouragement and warfare. I mean, I’m REALLY veering off subject today. That’s okay, I think God will forgive me, after all, He created this body I live in. This one is mostly for women, simply because I know you can relate. Please, if you are a man, still feel free to read it. To reference a popular 90’s sitcom, maybe men have this problem too and feel the need to wear a “Bro”.
I’m referring, of course, to one of the most wonderful, yet at the same time, tortuous articles of clothing ever invented…the bra. As women, we all have those certain days in a month when we have to break out the stretchy pants. The pants that are a size larger than we would normally need, but we need them on these particular days because our body is bloated beyond recognition. Ugh. I hate those days. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I really, genuinely HATE those days.
Oh, and don’t forget those granny panties either. No sense in wasting time in cute little undies that are just going to be hidden by our protruding, bloated bellies that are hanging over the hem of said panties. Nope, break out those granny panties too. But these are common subjects, right? Things we hear about all the time.
As I was getting dressed today, I put on my favorite bra. The one that fits most comfortably and still looks decent on my aging body which has birthed two kids and been through a few traumatic events as well. That’s when I remembered it was a stretchy pants, granny panty day. How did putting on my favorite bra remind me of that? Why, because everything that wasn’t supposed to be hanging out of said bra, suddenly spilled out everywhere. It was kind of like when you get one of those delicious Pillsbury Orange Cinnamon Roll cans, and crack the side of it on your counter to open it. You know what I mean, that dough just pops out, spilling everywhere because it can no longer be contained in the bag. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a “large” or “top-heavy” person. I would consider myself average at most, but today, my bosom defied my body-type and demanded a larger….um….restrainment device. Is restrainment even a word? I don’t know, but it is now.
That’s when I knew it was time to break out the “big guns” (hee hee, see what I did there?) I grabbed my trusty 17-year-old HUGE bra. This thing is so roomy, my gals can lie back in comfort and watch their favorite I Love Lucy rerun while snacking on Ferrero Rocher’s (or Oreo’s) and drinking Coca-Cola through a straw. Ahhhh. The comfort. The bliss. The sheer delight in not having to stuff myself into something that, for a few days, will suddenly be two sizes too small.
Then I started thinking and wondering. Does everyone have one of these bra’s, or is it just me? This is actually one of the bra’s I wore when I was pregnant, and I held onto it all these years, for just this purpose, but does everyone do that? Am I the only crazy person who has a “bloated-day” bra? Let me be the first to say, if you don’t, I truly feel sorry for you. Do you really go through days of discomfort because you don’t have your “bloated-day” bra? Stop it! Go get one now!!! I mean it, don’t you want to breathe normally? Don’t you want to go through the day without your bra hem digging into your chest area? Don’t you want your girls to be comfy?
I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject, do you or don’t you have a bloated-day bra? And, if you don’t…..don’t walk, don’t crawl, RUN NOW and get one for your next bloated day!!!